What makes a movie beautiful? Is it the cinematography, featuring gorgeous shots of Paris and interiors of fancy London homes? Is it the heartfelt performances from a low-stakes cast that pull you in so tenderly?1 Is it the script, which provide for some tear-jerking and heart-warming lines that force to you feel things you yourself have been avoiding? In the case of Good Grief, I think it is all and none of these things. I think the thing that shines through the most in this movie, that shows its face in all of the above examples, is the heart behind it. A lot of people, myself included, went into this movie expecting to cry quite a bit – if you watch the trailer, you can’t help but think that is the ride you are in for. But I didn’t, and judging from the various reviews I read, neither did most everyone else. And that’s okay! Because instead of taking us down the usual story path of just watching someone be sad after their partner dies, we were taken on a much different ride; one that confronts not only the weight of loss, but the toll it takes on your friends and family, and the mess that comes with learning things about your partner that you weren’t expecting. The heart behind this movie is simple – life is messy, life is awkward, life is heart-breaking, and life is beautiful. Let’s talk about some of the ways that writer and first-time director Dany Levy was able to accomplish and communicate this with the audience.
The first thing you need to know about Dan Levy, especially before watching this movie (or anything he writes) is that he is cheesy, he is corny, and he can be a little heavy-handed at times. Are these inherently bad traits to have as a writer/director? If you read the reviews on Letterboxd, you would probably think so, but I don’t. It certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but that doesn’t make him a bad writer or a bad director. It just means he found his niche, he knows his strengths, and he does them really well! Given all of that, this movie left some people saying, “show me, don’t tell me.” But I disagree with them – it does show you, but just maybe not in the way you are used to or comfortable with. This movie feels a lot like Master of None to me – in the sense that it is an unapologetic and raw look under the hood of what real life can be sometimes, especially after a big loss: it’s messy, it’s sad, it’s awkward, and it leaves a lot of people confused at how to move forward in their new reality. It isn’t tied up at the end in a big bow, but people can move forward having grown, learned, and become better people – that’s what life is all about! If you love who you were in high school, or don’t look back at yourself from five years ago and think you’ve changed at all, you probably have some growth and processing that you’ve been denying yourself. Marc spends a lot of this movie avoiding anything that reminds him of Oliver, which doesn’t allow him to ever truly grieve his loss. He admits to having done the same years earlier with the passing of his mother, which led him to give up a career in painting, because it made him think of her. But as his financial advisor (of all people) later tells him, “to avoid sadness, is also to avoid love.” One of the pillar lessons behind this movie is that, as the title says, there is such a thing as good grief. Some of the best ways we can continue to love those that have passed, is to remember them, and continue to love them.
But that doesn’t mean it won’t come without it’s hardships. This is where the real juice is for me in this movie. Life is messy – it’s rarely as simple as losing a loved one, properly grieving them, and then moving forward. Marc admits to having entered into an open marriage out of fear instead of trust, avoids confronting this, and uses the discovery of an unknown apartment in Paris as an excuse to treat his best friends to an all-expenses paid weekend in Paris under the guise of an olive branch for having retreated into himself for the past year. His friends gladly accept, but also use it as an opportunity to finally have some tough conversations with each other that are long overdue. Without giving too much away…Thomas and Sophie have some big “a-ha” moments about their own lives, while Marc confronts his biggest fears around his marriage, along with his struggles with grieving. This all culminates in a great scene where Sophie finally tells Marc, “don’t let it be fine.” Sometimes, this is what people need – they need you to be mad at them, or upset with them, or hurt by what they did. Don’t just brush it off – allow yourself to feel, and express those emotions. It’s not an easy thing to do, and oftentimes, as the movie shows in a very relatable way, it results in some tense and awkward conversations. Marc’s grief (or lack thereof) weighed heavily on his friends for so long, and it ends up taking a toll on more than just Marc. But it’s not even that simple! Marc has indirectly hurt both Sophie and Thomas, but it’s not without reason. “Sometimes,” Marc tells Thomas, “you lose sight of what’s going on around you because you just want to breathe the same way you did before.” Oof.
Enter in Theo – my favorite character of this movie. He enters Marc’s life for one reason, and one reason only – to help him figure out how to properly grieve Oliver’s death, and learn how to properly transition into the next phase of his life, without him. As someone who is in a committed long-term relationship, this is one of the biggest things that both my partner and I would wish for each other if one of us tragically passed: someone to come in, show them that life is still beautiful, and graciously hold their hand as they enter this next phase of life, without their life partner. This is one of my other favorite things about this movie – spoiler alert: there is no sappy happy ending for Marc and Theo, they don’t end up together! But it also didn’t end with them “breaking up” or not being together – they just go their separate ways, happy to have had the time together that they did. Theo helps Marc to open up to himself and admit the fears he felt in entering into an open marriage, along with the pain he still feels (and avoids) from his mother’s passing years earlier. “I think you should paint again.” It’s cheesy, and of course that’s what he would suggest to Marc, but it works! Sometimes the most simple and obvious thing to do or say, is the best thing to do or say. What a lovely person Theo is, I hope everyone gets to experience the company of a person like that in their life at some point.
One final way that Levy beautifully tells this story, is by keeping it relatable. Some people may find this movie to actually lack any relatability, what with Marc and Oliver being incredibly wealthy and having a gorgeous house in London and the ability to take a weekend away from it all in your Parisian apartment that you didn’t even know you had. I think those people are getting a little too lost in the weeds though, but that’s not what this is about. It’s relatable because it’s not a particularly uncommon story: from Oliver’s dad talking at the funeral about how his son succeeded in spite of him, or Sophie not being ready to commit to a relationship that is so clearly the right decision for her, or Marc choosing to avoid the things that make him think of his lost loved ones, instead of using them as a reminder and celebration of them. I remember back in college after I lost my grandfather (one of the first big losses in my life), for the longest time I just didn’t want to talk or even think about him. It hurt too much, and just made me feel sad. But then I realized that I was denying myself the love and memories we shared, which actually ended up helping me grieve his loss properly, and move forward. I think this movie just does a really great job of taking us through the messy journey that is grief, with all of the bumps and bruises along the way.
With that being said, let’s head to the categories (with a few new additions)!
By the Numbers
- Release date: January 5, 2024
- Budget: I couldn’t find this anywhere!
- Box office: This film had a limited release and was made for streaming
- Run time: 100 minutes (1 hour, 40 minutes)
- Letterboxd rating: 3.0 ★
- My Letterboxd rating: 4.0 ★
- Rotten Tomatoes: 76% (Fresh ?)
- Accolades: No nominations yet (released in 2024)
- One: This is Dan Levy’s directorial debut for a feature film
Best Scene
There were some goodies in here – and I apologize in advance that there are no clips to be found on YouTube so you’ll just have to use your memory or go back and watch them again. Here are the nominees:
- The opening scene: we get to establish the relationships and personalities of our main characters, followed by a rousing rendition of Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday. Just a classic, fun, opening scene (until the end of it, of course).
- The funeral: okay hear me out on this one. We get Oliver’s dad giving an earnest eulogy for his son which is quite touching, but not before Kailtyn Dever makes her cameo and hilariously complains through her eulogy that the studio won’t be green-lighting the fourth and fifth installments of Oliver’s franchise due to his untimely death.
- The art exhibit: this one is two-fold. We get Marc finally coming out of his shell after a year of depression following Oliver’s death, where he meets Theo. We also get some great comedy with the (low-hanging fruit) interaction that Marc has with a performance artist, asking viewers to participate in Weezer fandom by pulling the threads of her sweater.
- Theo and Marc’s late night date: this may qualify as multiple scenes, but I don’t care, I’m lumping them all together as one. Marc leaves karaoke night with his friends to go on a walk with Theo through Paris, before ending up at a restaurant with world-famous French onion soup. They top the night off with a private walk-through of the Claude Monet room at the Musée de l’Orangerie. This is all coupled with some tender, soul-repairing conversation that provides for a lot of the heart of this movie.
- Sophie burns the casserole: This is it for me. This is the scene. We have the very awkward addition of Luca to the friend group for dinner which provides for some good comedy, but also adds to that relatable, awkward realism that the movie nails at multiple times. More importantly though, we get the mini-monologue from Sophie begging Marc to be mad at her, but also to be sad that his husband is no longer here. No matter what Oliver may have done, Sophie misses her friend, and knows that Marc misses his husband. I had a good cry during this one.
What’s Aged the Best
This is the tough thing with writing about movies that are only five weeks old: they haven’t had time to age yet! There are still a few good choices here, though. The title of the movie, for one, has aged and will continue to age well. It evokes the classic Charlie Brown line, while also reminding you there really is such a thing as good grief. The on-location shooting, specifically in Paris, will never not age well. Watch this movie and tell me you don’t immediately want to quit your job and galivant around Paris with your friends and have a deep conversation on the Roue de Paris. Dan Levy’s directorial debut will age well, too – there’s nothing controversial about the movie to age poorly, and it wasn’t released in theaters so there is no chance of it being a box office bomb. The movie itself was a promising debut, where even the harshest critics could see the potential in his directing skills. I think for me, the winner here is the title.
What’s Aged the Worst
I mean really, I can’t think of anything. As mentioned previously, some people would definitely say the writing of this movie. I am not those people though, because I enjoyed the way it was written.
The Jason Clarke Award (What’s Their Name Again?)
This movie has an incredibly small cast, and I honestly didn’t recognize most of them. This is a two-horse race though, between David Bradley IV and Himesh Patel. David Bradley has over 145 acting credits to his name, but I’ve never once known his name – I recognized him from playing Argus Filch in the Harry Potter series. You may also know him from his roles in Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, or The Strain. When he showed up in this movie as Oliver’s father, I thought I recognized his face from somewhere but couldn’t place it. Himesh Patel plays the much larger role of Thomas, and I immediately knew that I recognized him from Tenet. You may also know him from EastEnders, Yesterday, Don’t Look Up, or Station Eleven (which got him an Emmy nomination). I have to give this one to Himesh, because I immediately knew what I recognized him from, and that is half of what this category is about. You see them pop up on the screen, you know them from another movie or television show, but you just don’t know their name. Congrats, Himesh!
The Jack Nicholson Award (Big Impact, Small Role)
We got another two-horse race on our hands, folks! We are looking at Emma Corrin for their role as the young performance artist, and Kaitlyn Dever for her role as Lily Kayne. Emma Corrin had about three minutes of screen time to work with, and they came in guns blazing – of course, that is exactly what the role called for, as well. Be as loud, obnoxious and theatrical as possible, just like any other performance artist in a London warehouse art show would be. Their short interaction with Marc is relatable, awkward and hilarious and you won’t forget it. Before that scene, we are treated to Kaitlyn Dever giving her award-winning performance as the star of the movie adaptations of Oliver’s book series. She has even less screen time than Corrin, but hits it out of the park. A melodramatic eulogy for Oliver quickly turns into a glib cry to the studios to honor their contract and move forward with making the fifth and sixth installments of the movie franchise. It’s funny, it’s uncomfortable, it’s ironic, and it has won her the Jack Nicholson Award!
The Roger Deakins Award (Best Cinematography)
I was pretty excited to write about this award while still watching the movie. Ole Bratt Birkeland serves as cinematographer for this film, known most for his work on American Animals, Utopia, and Judy. There are tons of beautiful shots throughout this movie – city shots of Paris, interior shots of Marc and Oliver’s London home, the framing of Marc and Theo during their French onion soup date, but one stands out above the rest. There is a moment when Theo and Marc are in the Claude Monet room, where we cut to a shot behind them as they sit on the benches and share a kiss. It frames them so beautifully within the paintings on the walls, but also provides such a feeling of intimacy and vulnerability that nearly took my breath away.
Best Quote
- “I agreed to an open marriage out of fear, not trust. He asked, and the idea of giving him a reason to leave felt scarier than keeping him happy, so that’s what I did.”
- “People feel things that are inconvenient, Thomas.”
- “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do, to get to where you want to go.”
- “I’ve been lying for a long time to a lot of people, and it feels really heavy. Like I’m swimming with my clothes on, and I can’t take them off.”
- “Isn’t art a commemoration of pain? Where does it go otherwise?”
- “Can you just let it not be fine for me, please? Just let it not be fine. Let me apologize for fucking up tonight, because if I don’t, we’ll just move past it like we always do.”
- “As it turns out, to avoid sadness is also to avoid love.”
- “I’ve been reading that the brain is like a muscle. It’s why getting over a death is so hard, because your brain has been trained to feel things for a person, and when they go away, your head is still operating under the impression that it should feel those things for that person, like muscle memory.”2
- “Thomas, it’s like an ache right here: loss. It’s like a little ulcer right here that never goes away. And you somehow figure out ways to take your mind off it enough to not feel it as much. But yeah, sometimes you lose sight of what’s going on around you because you just wanna be able to breathe the way you did before.”
Conclusion
Anybody else feel like they need to go hug their partner or go for a walk or something? I like having something force me to feel those feelings every once in a while, though. This movie was on our watch list before it even came out, but we took almost five weeks before we watched it – we knew what we were in for, and wanted to save it for the right time when we would be able to handle it. I think it’s healthy to watch a dark, sad movie every once in a while, and allow yourself to cry out loud or confront feelings you’ve been trying to push down for a while. I think it helps heal our souls – and I think Dan Levy is really good at telling those kinds of stories. Not all of his work is this dark or sad, but even Schitt’s Creek liked to put their boots on every once in a while and get deep. Kudos to the cast and crew for putting something together that made me feel more deeply and sincerely than any other movie has in a while, and here’s hoping that Dan continues to tell these beautiful kinds of stories.
- Low-stakes is not meant as a diss, by the way. I couldn’t think of another word, but I just meant there weren’t overhyped expectations on the cast as if they were people like Benedict Cumberbatch, Daniel Day Lewis, and Meryl Streep playing the leading roles. ↩︎
- This one got an audible “mm” from me when Marc said it. ↩︎
